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Selasa, 07 Desember 2021

I lose a friend

 I feel sad and lonely because I regret being harsh with my friend

That person was a definition of a true friend

We spent a lot of time together

Call without limits

Gossiping, studying, hanging out, working, and many other things

As I get older, I thought I wouldn’t care what others said

But there were too many misconceptions that led me to create miscommunication with my friend

I avoid and thought of only bad things occur if I were still close

I regret it

I broke the friendship that I’ve made

The investment of time and energy spent

Everything was going to be alright, but no

Now it’s awkward

I don’t know how to reconcile

The friend might not think the same

Maybe I’m just overthinking

But I can see how very different life is now

Always thought that growing up made me lose a friend

Instead, it was me who’s stupid enough

And let my ego won

Things can’t be the same anymore

Kamis, 13 Agustus 2020

XLFL WORKSHOP EXPERIENCE (PECHA KUCHA, LEADERSHIP STYLES)

Welcome to my blog post! It has been a while. 
In this post, I'd like to share my special experience on my 4th Workshop of XL Future Leaders.
On August 8th and 9th, 2020, was the time I met my classmates Makassar Batch 8, with 6 special guests who are 3 Yogyakarta Batch 7 XLFL students, and 3 National Hero Challenge winners. 

On the first day, we are greeted with our mentor Rizki "Semangat Pagi!" And as always our answer no matter what time it is "Selalu semangat pagi!". We had a discussion on Storytelling and Giving Feedbacks. The first discussion is about Evaluation. My group discuss the importance of evaluation is to assess disparity from the current condition for a better one ahead. Besides that, a good evaluation consists of constructive criticism. Then, in the next group, my friends and I build an evaluation format for our Pecha Kucha presentation. It consists of Criteria, Sub Criteria, Metrics (Qualitative and Quantitative). Even though my group's Evaluation Format was not chosen, but I learned a lot from other groups on how to build a better and concise evaluation format. After that, we had the Pecha Kucha presentation which we have prepared for more than a month. Pecha Kucha is a presentation with a 20x20 format. Which means there are 20 slides and every slide has 20 seconds time to present. I did a presentation with Rindy and we told the story of one of Indonesian Revolutionary Heroes, R. Suprapto. We presented his story of life, how much he valued nationalism, and keep our Ideology, Pancasila although it took his life away. We have to respect and always remember his service. We got to see all presentations from my classmates and listen to great feedbacks Rara. At the end of the day, we give feedbacks based on the Evaluation Format from the winning group. As usual, there is always picture time and sharing session around 20 minutes with our mentor Rizki and Classmates who basically didn't want the Workshop over.

On the second day, we learned about leadership types. We also get to dress up with the theme of Indonesia Independence Day. I wore a red hijab and white uniform to resemble Indonesia's flag. But before proceed to that, there was an announcement from Rizki for the Nominees of The Best Pecha Kucha Presentation in Makassar Class. I am so glad Rindy and I made it to the top 5. Congratulations to Appi and Wisnu who won the best presentation and actually they are the first presenters hence they have set the bar high and did amazing! What I learned from them is to be prepared-well and did mentoring because feedbacks made us do better that we got to know our blind-spot. Continue on Leadership Styles, my group and I had a discussion on why we have leadership styles is because different situations need different approaches. That being said, if the leader who leads the team did not match with their people then the leader can switch styles. Also discussion we the whole classmates we can conclude that both personality and environment play factors in shaping the leader's leadership style. The personality includes the value, cultural, belief system from the leader itself then the environment is from the people, demands, and the organization's goals. Then we assigned into a group based on respective leadership styles we have to cover. 

My group and I had to cover the Transformational leadership style. We took examples from two leaders in the past which is Martin Luther King Jr. and in the present is Angela Merkel. They both make huge transformational changes during their leadership. For Martin Luther King Jr., we are very familiar with his "I Have A Dream" speech in Washington DC to more than 200 thousand people in 1963 to called out the US Government to end racism toward African-Americans. Then for Angela Merkel, because of her background which is Science, she managed to contain Covid-19 widespread in Germany. Both of them able to make changes on the situation they faced. Their differences are that Merkel is a risk-averse person since she is data-driven and MLK Jr. is a risk-tolerant since he needed to persuade people to join his movement. Despite the differences, their traits are actually needed based on each of the conditions of their time. Next, we learned about Autocratic Leadership who leads with force and the leader decides and gets the work done quickly. It is matched with the military environment. I was surprised that actually, Steve Jobs is a leader with this type of leadership because of his firmness on the product that he wanted to launch. But the pitfall of this type leads to high staff turnover. Next, Paternalistic Leadership, came from the word 'Papa', so the leader acts as a father figure and treated his people as if they are his family. This type of leadership, listen and give feedback to his people. Then, Servant Leadership is a leader who leads by example and lifts up their people motivates them from behind. Last but not least is Charismatic leadership, which leads with energy and the leader's charisma. It relies on the persuasiveness of the leader that made the downside of this type that they can believe in themselves more than the team. This can lead to a collapse of the team if the leader leaves and that is why this type needs a leader with long-term commitment. Before we end our productive and fun weekend, we had the Hiraku session. Where we opened up on our insecurities and give comforts to each other. It was a really nice time to end our hectic but exciting week. 

Overall, all workshops of XL Future Leaders always full of insight and like energy recharge. I'm so grateful to be XL Future Leaders awardee because I get to join all the beneficial workshops provide. My year 1 with XLFL will be finished soon, oh how time flies. I can't wait for the next Workshop and gain more knowledge. Here's to more productive weekends with amazing peeps!

Kamis, 04 Juni 2020

Sorry

Hi, whoever reads this.
Whom I have hurt before
Never in my life, I did it intentionally
I never deep down from my heart wanted to treat you like that
So sorry that it was an accident
Not saying this because I am looking for reasons
But it just happened the way it was

I'm sorry that I've been ignorant
So sorry because I'm an over-thinking type of person
That it hurts me if I care too much
I decided to learn to let go somethings
To bury deep down my feelings
In order to be strong and look tough
So that I'm ready for any obstacle I'll face

My life isn't perfect
I am not as happy and having a smooth life as what you've seen
I'm just too good at hiding my problems, just like everybody else
People don't get it and just talk behind me or even call me out
But I stay silent, not because that's what I am 
And you've hurt indirectly

I want you to know
There are better people and things in life ahead for you
You just need to wait and look for them
But don't force yourself to choose me
Sorry, I think I don't deserve to be the one
Don't apologize to me
I am sorry

Jumat, 09 November 2018

Teruntuk Kau yang Mengutamakan Penampilan



                Hatiku sedih terenyuh mendengar curhatan beberapa orang yang sangat dekat denganku dan gundahan diriku sendiri. Saya memang orang yang tidak sempurna baik secara kepribadian mau pun fisik. Tapi apakah ada yang sempurna di dunia ini?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki jerawat atau bekas jerawat di wajahnya?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki tinggi yang kurang?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki berat badan berlebih?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki gigi yang tidak rapi?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki kulit yang gelap?
                Apa yang salah dengan seseorang yang memiliki keterbatasan?
Yang salah adalah orang-orang yang percaya dengan standar penampilan pada saat ini khususnya di negara kita, Indonesia.
Mengapa penampilan bisa jadi hal yang sangat dibanggakan di negeri ini? Dan mengapa pula hanya ada standard kecantikan seperti ini bagi banyak orang khususnya untuk wanita yaitu kulit putih, wajah mulus, gigi rapi, badan kurus nan tinggi bak model atau biasa orang akan mengatakan bening. Mungkin akan ada banyak yang tidak setuju dengan pendapat ini, tapi saya yakin sebagian besar orang indonesia memiliki standard seperti itu. Lantas mengapa dengan standard seperti itu wanita yang lain yang tidak memilikinya juga harus menjadi seperti itu?
Mengapa kami dipaksa dengan masyarakat untuk menjadi ini itu?
Mengapa kami dipaksa untuk memenuhi standard kecantikan demi dipandang baik oleh orang-orang?
Mengapa kami dipaksa untuk melakukan ini itu?
                tidak bisa kah kami dihargai apa adanya bukan karena ada apanya?
                tidak bisa kah kami dipandang baik pada pandangan pertama dengan penampilan yang dimiliki?
                tidak bisa kah kami dianggap pantas dengan orang-orang?

Saya tidak pernah meminta respekmu
Saya tidak pernah menuntut apresiasi darimu
Saya tidak pernah menginginkan pengakuanmu
Saya tidak pernah meminta komentarmu

                lantas mengapa orang-orang masih berbicara seenaknya mengenai penampilan kami?
                lantas mengapa orang-orang masih berkomentar tak sedap hanya karena kami berbeda?
                lantas mengapa orang-orang masih tidak berhenti berceloteh?

Kami tidak bisa menutup mulutmu, untuk itu lebih baik kami tutup telinga kami atas komentar tidak sedapmu.
Kami tidak bisa menutup matamu, untuk berhenti memandang kami namun yang kami bisa lakukan untuk tidak melihat dan mencari kesalahan atas penampilanmu dan juga balik mengomentarinya.
                Kenapa penampilan yang utama pada zaman ini, bukankah seharusnya kita lebih harus meningkatkan kemanusiaan kita? Menjadi lebih manusia dan memanusiakan orang lain? Menghargai perbedaan khususnya karena semboyan negara kita bhinneka tunggal ika?
Kemana semua etika kesopanan santunmu itu? Kenapa kau gantikan dengan penampilan yang sempurna tapi kepribadian yang sombong?
Kenapa semua penampilan orang kau komentari? Kenapa kau menganggap orang lain lebih hina darimu hanya karena penampilannya?
Apakah kepribadian yang baik tak cukup bagimu? Kenapa kau buat orang harus mengikuti seleramu?
Bagaimana kau bisa hidup dengan terlalu banyak berceloteh tentang kekurangan orang lain? Kenapa kau tak perbaiki dirimu agar menjadi lebih baik?
Siapakah kamu yang merasa paling sempurna? Kenapa kau injak-injak orang lain sehingga mereka merasa kekurangan?

Tak tahu kah kau apa dampaknya
Tak tahu kah kau rasa malu
Tak tahu kah kau etika
Tak tahu kah kau menghargai yang namanya perbedaan

                kita butuh orang seperti kamu
                bukan untuk dicontohi
                namun agar kamu sebagai model
                supaya orang-orang tidak menjadi seperti dirimu
                teruntuk sebagian orang yang merasa tersinggung
                tidak apa-apa, silakan tidak setuju
                namun camkan satu hal ini
                penampilanmu itu tidak akan seperti itu selamanya
                namun hati dan kebaikanmu lah
                yang akan diingat
                dan itulah yang akan
mengantarmu kepada
                kebahagiaan yang sesungguhnya

Berhenti membully orang hanya karena penampilannya.
Mulailah untuk mengenali pribadi orang.
Berhenti menjadi orang yang menjadi sumber keterpurukan seseorang.
Mulailah untuk belajar menjadi manusia yang bermanfaat.
Berhenti mengganggap ejekan itu gurauan dan memvonis orang baperan dengan ledekanmu.
Mulailah diam kalau tidak bisa berkata yang baik.
Berhenti mengira komentar itu hanya hal sepele.
Karena kau tak pernah tahu dampak dari tajam mulutmu.
Sebab apa gunanya membuat orang lain merasa malu, serba kekurangan, dan gundah?

Oleh: Andi Annisa TR, pribadi yang jenuh atas orang seperti ”kau”
(11 November 2019)